"We paid up, now acknowledge 'Funplex' motherfucker!"

In debate with the American Bar Association president on Thursday, former Alabama Attorney General turned federal Circuit Court Judge Bill Pryor said that the state’s judicial elections do not make its judges any less independent.

It’s like the boy crying wolf. We may undermine our ability to defend judicial independence when it is actually threatened.

First of all, it’s just logic that elections must have some bearing on any elected official. We Cockfights know that.

(Just a related aside: ELECTED OFFICIALS OWNED BY THE COCKFIGHT FAMILY: DANCE! NOW! WE ORDER YOU! DANCE OR YOUR SWEET, SWEET GREEN LIFEBLOOD WILL DRAIN AWAY INTO THE NEAREST PRODUCT OF THE GUTTER WE FEEL IS MOST USEFUL! DO IT NOW! DANCE NOW, GOD HELP YOU!)

But, oh yeah, Pryor? Are you independent from special interests just because you’re appointed? Let’s consult an ancient story from the Decatur Daily:

Fresh from Senate confirmation, U.S. 11th Circuit Court Judge Bill Pryor authored what appears to be the first court decision ever to quote lyrics from The B-52s.

‘Huggin’ and a kissin’, dancin’ and a lovin’, wearin’ next to nothing,’ from The B-52s’ ‘Love Shack’ song in the ‘Cosmic Thing’ album, made it into Pryor’s decision Thursday, the same day he was confirmed.

So judge, are you saying that we won’t find a free “Rock Lobster” T-shirt in your closet?

You people are worse than R.E.M. and the Georgia State Senate.