They're all out to get me, they're all watching me... Let them watch...

Attorney General for now Troy King announced a bid for re-election on Thursday, saying he did not run for governor because of rumors about his private life, a likely dearth of electoral support, and a potential indictment he “loves being attorney general.”

But when asked about a federal investigation of his office and whether it was brought on by his political  enemies like real district attorneys and smart people,  King made it pretty clear:

There have been a number of times where we have made a difficult decision because I believed it was the right thing, and there are powerful special interests who have been offended by that.

What prurient interests oppose a furious, anti-sex crusader such as Troy King continuing to be attorney general? People who like real attorneys with credibility? People who think all this uber-regulation of sex offenders is a waste of time? People who heard allegations about favoritism and decided they would check to see if King could prosecuted for it?

No. Here’s who King thinks is out to get him:

• The Gays (TM), of course.
• The Alabama Man-Boy Love Association (ALABAMBLA).
• The Kinky Entaglement of Goat-Man Lovemaking (KEGML).
• The powerful latex and leather lobbies.
• The Queer-Monkey Association (QMA).
• The Oral Sex League (OSL).
• The Federation of Gambling, Rapist Sex Offenders (FGRSO).
• The Jackson County Chapter of the Meth-Fueled Train Humpers Alliance (MFTHA).
• You don’t want to know what he thinks ACLU means, but they’re there too.
• The inflatable, fuckable pig Loretta Nall sent him.