I REALIZED HERE THAT IT’S BEEN A WHILE SINCE I’VE TALKED ABOUT THINGS I LIKE AND THINGS I DON’T LIKE. AND WHILE I DON’T RECKON I’VE BEEN CLEAR ENOUGH ON WHERE I STAND ON THE IMMIGRANTS, I FIGURED IT MIGHT BE BEST TO TELL YOU SOME OF THE OTHER THINGS I’M FOR AND AGAINST.
OTHER THAN KILLIN’ IMMIGRANTS.
I MEAN, GETTIN’ RID OF ‘EM.
WITH KILLIN’.
-I AM NOT FOR THIS GODDAMNED FAGGOT BLACK BELT GHOST TRAIL IDEA. I DO NOT TRUST ANYTHING THAT IS SPOOKY AND CANNOT BE SHOTGUNNED.
IF I’M PRESIDENT, I WILL FORM A SPECIAL TEAM TO DEAL WITH AMERICA’S GHOST PROBLEMS — JUST LIKE IN THAT MOVIE PLATOON.
BESIDES, HOW DO WE KNOW THEM GHOSTS AIN’T REALLY WORKIN’ WITH THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT? OR WITH THE IMMIGRANTS?
THEY ARE KINDA IMMIGRANTS FROM DEATH!
I WILL NOT LET YOU REVEAL KEY ASPECTS OF THE INVASION STOPPIN’ PLAN, BODY-POSSESSIN’ IMMIGRANT FAGGOT!
AND I WON’T LET YOU MAKE ME PAY MY BACK-TAXES, EITHER!
I WILL NOT LET YOU USE MY MONEY TO BUY YOUR ECTO-PLASMIC COCK-RING!
STAY AWAY FROM MY DICK, CHEETAH!
-WHAT ABOUT GUNS IN ZOOS?! HOW’S A MAN LIKE I SUPPOSED TO PROTECT MYSELF AND MAYBE MY SON I DON’T LOVE IF ONE OF THEM JAGUARS OR SNEAKY FAST CHEETAHS BREAK OUT AND WANNA RIP ME UP OR STICK THEIR BALLS IN MY MOUTH!
GAY RAPE-CHEETAHS IS A PROBLEM AMERICA REFUSES TO SOLVE, AND I REFUSE TO GO TO A ZOO UNLESS I CAN BRING MY SHOTGUN!
BESIDES, WHAT IF I WANT TO TAKE ONE HOME?
THAT HIDE’D LOOK REAL NICE ON MY KITCHEN WALL!
AND HE’D DESERVE IT TOO BECAUSE HE WANTS TO BALL-RAPE MY MOUTH!
JUNGLE-CAT FAGGOT!
-I’M TIRED OF THESE FAGGOTS IN THE MEDIA PISSIN’ ON SARAH PALIN! THAT WOMAN KNOWS HOW TO HOLD A GUN, AND IF SHE WANTS TO GO OFF AND CRY WHILE CLUTCHIN’ IT HARD IN A CORNER IN CAMO WITH ONE OF THEM ALASKAN SLED DOGS BESIDE HER, WELL, THAT’S ALL I’D WANT TO WATCH!
SHE’S SEXY LIKE THAT!
BUT I WOULDN’T ASK QUESTIONS ABOUT IT!
WISH SHE WAS SINGLE!
-WHAT’S WRONG WITH HUMAN SHIT-MAKIN’ FACTORIES?! YOU AIN’T USIN’ THAT SHIT, SO TURN IT INTO FERTILIZER!
UNLESS YOU WANNA PLAY IN IT, SHIT-WHORE!
-I HATE MY SON!
-I LOOK FORWARD TO WATCHIN’ MY FRIEND GERALD ALLEN STICK PHIL POOLE IN HIS HOLE!
-THIS RON PAUL “REVOLUTION” AIN’T GOT ENOUGH GUNS IN IT!
GUESS HE MUST HAVE HIS DOCTORIN’ IN FAG!
-WHILE WE’RE OFF MAKIN’ GAMBLIN’ AND SHIT LEGAL, WHY DON’T WE BRING BACK IN WHORIN’ TOO.
WE CAN USE THE MONEY WE MAKE FROM TAXIN’ IT FOR OUR ANTI-IMMIGRANT DEFENSES, AND IF WE HAVE ANY LEFT OVER I GUESS WE CAN SPEND IT ON SCHOOLS AND SCHOLARSHIPS AND SHIT TOO — BUT NOT AUBURN! THEY DON’T GET ANY OF THE GIFT WHORE-MONEY!
IT IS VERY HARD FOR ME TO FIND A WOMAN WHO IS WILLING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME!
-I’M SURPRISED MERLE HAGGARD’S NOT DEAD!
-I’M TIRED OF SEEIN’ THESE COMMERCIAL FOR THAT MOVIE ABOUT THE GERMAN FAGGOT!
WHY CAN’T THEY MAKE A HETEROSEXUAL STRAIGHT FOREIGN FUNNY MOVIE, LIKE THAT BOO-RAT FELLA DID!
-I WISH THERE WERE MORE HIPPIES SO I COULD SHOOT ‘EM!
-WHEN I’M PRESIDENT, I’LL WRESTLE A BEAR ON TV TO SHOW WHAT AMERICA’S ALL ABOUT TO THEM FAGGOTS IN THE U.N.
BUT THEY’LL HAVE TO WATCH FROM AN ISLAND IN THE BAHAMAS OR SOMEWHERE BECAUSE I AIN’T LETTIN’ THEM TO STAY HERE SO THEY CAN RAISE OUR TAX MONEY AND TAKE AWAY OUR GUNS AND MAYBE EVEN OUR SHOTGUNS!
I’M GONNA TURN THEIR BUILDIN’ IN NEW YORK SHITTY INTO ONE OF THEM GODDANG BIG OL’ BASS PRO SHOPS!
I WILL BREAK THEM LIKE I WILL BREAK THAT BEAR!
-WE WHIPPED YOUR ASS ONCE MEXICO, WE’LL WHIP IT AGAIN!
-WHY AIN’T THERE MORE WOMEN WHO APPRECIATE HAVIN’ A BUNCH OF DEAD, HALF-STUFFED SQUIRRELS AS YOUR CENTERPIECE ON YOUR DININ’ ROOM TABLE?! THE NEXT ONE WHO THROWS UP I’M GONNA CALL THE SHERIFF ON IF THEY FINALLY DECIDE THAT THEY WANT TO DEAL WITH ME AGAIN! THEY SHOULD HAVE ARRESTED THAT WAL-MART MANAGER FOR SELLIN’ THAT CHINESE-FLAVORED CHICKEN IN AMERICA’S DELI!
DAMN DATIN’ AFTER FIFTY SURE IS HARD!
The Machiavelli of our times. WOOO!
-I LEARNED EVERYTHING I NEEDED TO KNOW ABOUT LEADIN’ FROM RIC FLAIR!
WOOOOOOOO!
-I AM AFRAID OF THE CULTURAL IMPLI-CA-CATIONS OF CHILDREN EATIN’ ITALIAN ICE! IT IS KILLIN’ AMERICAN CULTURE! WE DON’T NEED TO HAVE THEM COMFORTABLE WITH ALL FLAVORS OF THE IMMIGRANT MENACE!
IT SHOULD BE CALLED “COLD FREEDOM,” OR “NOT IMMIGRANT GAY ICE.”
-KLANSMEN ARE FUNNY TO LOOK AT!
-I AM REFUSIN’ TO GO TO ANY GODDAMNED TEA-PARTY UNTIL THESE REPUBLICANS RUNNIN’ IT PROVE THEY AIN’T OF THE QUEER MAN-FUCKIN’ VARIETY.
SHOW ME A PICTURE OF YOU WITH A DICK IN YOUR MOUTH THAT SHOWS YOU AIN’T ENJOYIN’ IT AND THEN I’LL COME!
MY NAME IS CARTER MCCARTHY COCKFIGHT AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE.
Carter McCarthy Cockfight lives on the Family’s “Farm” property with his son Collins, of whom he is deeply ashamed.
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