Protect what’s REALLY important!

Guest post by J. Eagle Cockfight II
Semi-retired conservative Mountain Brook lobbyist

Those fools on the Jefferson County Commission have apparently cut half of the Sheriff’s deputies to make up for their years of overspending — likely on some sort of pagan sex devices for the Welfare Queens out in — ugh! – Pratt City.

Please you mustn’t do such a thing! Those deputies are probably all that is keeping the undesirables from breaking the invisible line into the south county and sweeping our million-dollar homes like an army of crack-addicted, welfare-funded ants!

Cut from the cancer patients at the charity hospital! Let the Free Hand decide their fate!

Please!

The Chamber has not had time to get the wall up yet!

J. Eagle Cockfight II served in low-level policy positions in the Reagan and first Bush administrations. A semi-retired lobbyist, Eagle left the HealthSouth corporation in 1997 to serve on the board of Cockfight Farms Food and Pharmaceuticals Inc., of which he is now chairman. He lives in Mountain Brook with his 27-year-old fourth wife, Karolina Apple Johnstone-Cockfight, and his beloved beagles Whitey and Cotton.

What people who can read are saying about King Cockfight:

"If you have any grasp of Alabama politics and history -- any at all -- and you enjoy political satire, you need to check out [King Cockfight's Weblog]. He’s about the funniest bastard in Alabama."

-Birmingham Weekly.

"A wonderful [We]blog that regularly pokes a big sharp stick in your eye and turns it in a cruel but hilarious fashion."

-Toxic Culture.

"Often hilarious."

-Doc's Political Parlor.

"I actually laughed during the legislative session!"

-Barbara Evans, 2010 legislative candidate.

"Long Live King Cockfight!"

-Loretta Nall, former gubernatorial candidate. For weed.

"Hey son, does it ever weird you out that people talk about how the Weblog where you write bluntly about the facts of your and your family's life is 'fantastic political satire'? That's kind of meta, isn't it?"

-The Rev. David Cockfight, King Cockfight's father, on July 4, 2009. He has a lot of kids.

The Rev. David Cockfight’s (SexyPreacher58) ongoing efforts to make Twitter ‘less gay’:

RT @Deadspin: Tim Lincecum Cited In Least Surprising Pot Bust Ever http://deadspin.com/5398256 #mlb #timlincecum He needs to put on a towel. 2 days ago

Anybody else think it's sad that 7UP can't afford anybody better than Brad Garrett? Anyway... Back to playing Brickbreaker on my CrackBerry. 2 days ago

Apparently Fake Larry #langford writes for King's Weblog more than King does these days. But I love his hat! http://bit.ly/2h2CAD 3 days ago

King shouldn't have teased us yesterday then not updated today. I love him all the same, but he is pretty lazy. Lord's way I guess. 4 days ago

Surprising that people think the Jefferson County Commission is corrupt because it's corrupt. http://bit.ly/3t8OF6 5 days ago

I can see the attraction of becoming an AL Republican. You know, if I didn't care about poor people and all. http://bit.ly/3sNJiY 5 days ago

I guess King's back posting, but who are these people speaking in the royal "we" talking about posting schedules? http://bit.ly/1xxe4H 5 days ago

Wow, I didn't know #langford was writing King's Weblog! Was King working on his defense? Is that where he's been? http://bit.ly/275drv 1 week ago

So why are their teasers on King's Weblog? Is it coming back on Monday? They seem awfully meta... Really wish I'd be told of this junk. 1 week ago

Tim Brando, why wouldn't Archie be in NYC to see David Carr? They could be friends! Hasn't Davey been sacked by life enough? 4 weeks ago

S	M	T	W	T	F	S
« Jun				Aug »
			1	2	3	4
5	6	7	8	9	10	11
12	13	14	15	16	17	18
19	20	21	22	23	24	25
26	27	28	29	30	31

King Cockfight.