20
Jul
09

White men can’t jump to logical conclusions.

We dont care for your kind around here... SMARTIE!

"We don't care for your kind around here... SMARTIE!"

Ten months from now, a flatscreen TV is tuned into WBRC in Birmingham. This ad comes on.

A middle-aged white man speaks the words in a low accusing tone as a photo of Congressman Artur Davis appears on screen and suddenly inverts in color.

Artur Davis wants to be Governor, but who is he really?

The Birmingham News says Davis is “Harvard educated.”

The Birmingham News’ masthead flashes on the screen and below the quote “Harvard educated…”

Harvard is one of the best schools in the country. That doesn’t sound like traditional Alabama values.

A thirtysomething white blonde with three kids tugging all over here appears on screen.

“Does he thinks he’s better than us? Because he tried in school?!?”

An old white man appears on the screen wearing an Alabama sweatshirt.

“Wait, he didn’t go to ‘Bama? And he thinks he can run this State?”

An old white woman appears on screen holding a folded up American flag.

“With a good education, he might expect us to change for the better instead of just blaming it on the way things is!

“I don’t want to use no proper grammar, HARVARD BOY!”

Davis’ picture appears on screen again, its colors still inverted.

This June, tell Davis that Alabama knows it ain’t good enough.

Artur Davis – TOO SMART FOR ALABAMA.

(Paid for by Alabama Democrats Against Smarties Who Happen to be Black.)



What people who can read are saying about King Cockfight:

"If you have any grasp of Alabama politics and history -- any at all -- and you enjoy political satire, you need to check out [King Cockfight's Weblog]. He’s about the funniest bastard in Alabama."

-Birmingham Weekly.

"A wonderful [We]blog that regularly pokes a big sharp stick in your eye and turns it in a cruel but hilarious fashion."

-Toxic Culture.

"Often hilarious."

-Doc's Political Parlor.

"I actually laughed during the legislative session!"

-Barbara Evans, 2010 legislative candidate.

"Long Live King Cockfight!"

-Loretta Nall, former gubernatorial candidate. For weed.

"Hey son, does it ever weird you out that people talk about how the Weblog where you write bluntly about the facts of your and your family's life is 'fantastic political satire'? That's kind of meta, isn't it?"

-The Rev. David Cockfight, King Cockfight's father, on July 4, 2009. He has a lot of kids.

The Rev. David Cockfight’s (SexyPreacher58) ongoing efforts to make Twitter ‘less gay’:

  • RT @Deadspin: Tim Lincecum Cited In Least Surprising Pot Bust Ever http://deadspin.com/5398256 #mlb #timlincecum He needs to put on a towel. 2 days ago
  • Anybody else think it's sad that 7UP can't afford anybody better than Brad Garrett? Anyway... Back to playing Brickbreaker on my CrackBerry. 2 days ago
  • Apparently Fake Larry #langford writes for King's Weblog more than King does these days. But I love his hat! http://bit.ly/2h2CAD 3 days ago
  • King shouldn't have teased us yesterday then not updated today. I love him all the same, but he is pretty lazy. Lord's way I guess. 4 days ago
  • Surprising that people think the Jefferson County Commission is corrupt because it's corrupt. http://bit.ly/3t8OF6 5 days ago
  • I can see the attraction of becoming an AL Republican. You know, if I didn't care about poor people and all. http://bit.ly/3sNJiY 5 days ago
  • I guess King's back posting, but who are these people speaking in the royal "we" talking about posting schedules? http://bit.ly/1xxe4H 5 days ago
  • Wow, I didn't know #langford was writing King's Weblog! Was King working on his defense? Is that where he's been? http://bit.ly/275drv 1 week ago
  • So why are their teasers on King's Weblog? Is it coming back on Monday? They seem awfully meta... Really wish I'd be told of this junk. 1 week ago
  • Tim Brando, why wouldn't Archie be in NYC to see David Carr? They could be friends! Hasn't Davey been sacked by life enough? 4 weeks ago

 

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The sprawling history of the Cockfight Family’s Weblog.

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On the minds of ‘readers’ in Winston County.