Other crazy things that Republican presidential forum attendees told NPR.

By now, you may have read the NPR story where attendees of last night’s Republican presidential candidate forum in Birmingham told a reporter that they still believe Obama is a Muslim and that there’s a magic secret part that everybody knows in the Constitution that says you have to be the son of two naturalized citizens to be elected president.

(Yes, they really said that.)

But NPR left out a lot of other good quotes reflecting the views of those who attended the forum, probably for the best of America.

Because The Cockfight Family have not necessarily been that fond of America, we share them with you here now:

-”It’s truly offensive to me that we have a president who wasn’t born here as president because my parents went to the effort of buying some land, giving birth to me in a field, and making me eat a turkey I killed with my bare hands raw on my second birthday so I could be a citizen—JUST LIKE THE CONSTITUTION SAYS.”

-”Listenin’ to how PAWWWL talked about Mo-Romney today was the end of me and Finebaum. He’s just too liberal for me to spend my drivetime sports listenin’ hours anymore. In the future, I’m just gonna listen to a homeless guy that runs up and down the street in my neighborhood yelling provocative things about sports at people’s cars. He agrees with me that Obama’s a Mexican!”

-”I really liked how Newt took on ABC for showing a show with “Christian Bitches” not actually in its title. That really spoke to me, because I’ve been upset for years about how the elite media have portrayed Christians in the title’s of their shows, like Seventh Heaven. THERE IS ONLY ONE HEAVEN AND BLACK PEOPLE ARE NOT ALLOWED.”

-”As former Congressman Artur Davis, I have to say I really agree with the views of the people here tonight.”

-”I feel like there needs to be more Jesus in government. I mean, when I park outside the school board’s offices and scream scripture at the building to raise test scores, they don’t even call the police anymore.”

-”I’m so tired of having sex with women because of Obamacare.”

-”Rick Santorum’s dislike of contraception and abortion really speaks to me, because I feel very strongly about protecting the sanctity of life. Let me show you this baby bump. Look at how I wrote ‘YOU AIN’T TAKIN’ THIS LIFE INSIDE ME AWAY, KING OBAMA!’ on it. Yes, I’m a man. Why you making a big deal out of that, liberal?!”

-”It’s very clear to me that the Muslims like Obama can’t run anything. I had to take my kid out of school because they had Muslim teachers there now. And there is a Muslim down at the Milo’s who can never get my order right. And if a Muslim ever showed up at my church, I’d most certainly switch to a different Baptist church. What? Muslims are what we’re callin’ black people now, right?”

-”I HAVE SOME STRONG, UNEDUCATED THOUGHTS ON AMERICAN POLITICS BASED ON THE WORST DESIRES WITHIN ME AND I PLAN ON YELLIN’ ABOUT THEM REAL LOUD TO YOU NOW.”

-”KNOWLEDGE OF MOTHERFUCKING GRITS IS THE ONLY ISSUE UPON WHICH I ELECT PEOPLE FOR PRESIDENT.”

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