Guest post by J. Eagle Cockfight II
Prominent Republican strategist
Huzzah and hello, I hope you have all had a marvelous few weeks, even the lessers. As you know, I recently had some medical issues that nearly ended my life, but as soon as I was well enough, I realized that I needed to speak to the world about what those difficulties have made of me.
You see, before my difficulties, I had been very terrible to the lessers. I thought of them as a disease, and feared that anything that government did to aid them could threaten my comfortable existence as a better. I thought of them as competition trying to infect me with their condition, so that I would not be any better than them in time. As a result, I have spent much of my life ensuring that the world, whether be through business or through politics, benefited me and only those that I deemed worthy enough of being on my level.
The tumor changed that. It made me realize that in the end, we are all essentially equal. We are all frail and can be hustled out of the mortal coil at any moment in as many ways as one could imagine. I clung on because I could afford the best medical care money could provide, with expert and speedy medical care diagnosing and removing my tumor safely and soundly. I realized that a man of lesser means might not be able to survive what I survived, or could be reduced to a state of existence that might make him wish he had not survived.
And I want to keep it that way.
Today, I am announcing the J. Eagle Cockfight II Center for Preserving Health Inequality. CPHI will be devoted to my carrying new life’s mission, which is ensuring that all those of lesser means are denied the quality of medical care that is needed to survive in this world.
You see, I was right: The lessers do have a disease–they are beneath us. And despite that, no matter what they do they will find a way to have say because they are still as deluded into believing that their freedom to live is of the same worth as ours. The Holy Lord, when he afflicts us with disease, is merely testing who of us is good enough to survive and be betters. Those who do not are removed as a endorsement for us to carry out our glorious and holy self-mandate to work only for ourselves. When government and so-called charities try to save the poor and needy, they are merely standing in the way of God’s cure for the disease of lesserdom.
CPHI will work tirelessly to eliminate every charity that gives money that could be billed to companies us betters own. And we will fight to keep government from doling out benefit after benefit to sick children and the disabled that could be spent eliminating the entirety of the tax burden on betters such as myself.
And this State shall be our proving ground. Alabamians are will vote this fall on whether to bring a health care apocalypse except for the wealthy upon themselves, and we will expend every resource ensuring that they do so that other states can recognize health care inequality for what it really is.
We have struggled for too long. Inadequate government health care that barely amounts to what we are capable of as a society has proven to be an embarrassment to this State and this nation.
For we could do so much less. And you lessers will all learn that hard truth soon enough.
J. Eagle Cockfight II served in low-level policy positions in Ronald Reagan and first George H.W. Bush’s presidential administrations. A key Republican strategist, Eagle left the HealthSouth corporation in 1997 to serve on the board of Cockfight Farms Food and Pharmaceuticals Inc., of which he is now chairman. He lives in Mountain Brook in the future home of his impending twentysomething fifth wife and the present home of his beloved beagles Whitey and Cotton.
