By Brewer T. Alberts III
Cockfight Family Historian
Greetings, readers. It is my pleasure to introduce you to the latest iteration of Master King Cockfight’s Weblog, a journal so worthy of intelligent readership it almost makes up for the years his family has worked against free intellectual discourse in much of the American and European Southeast.
King Cockfight is an heir to the only slightly regretted legacy of the Cockfight Family, whose political and social influence has been a key check on the development of rural West Alabama since legendary early American statesman and fugitive Oglethorpe Cockfight settled in the depths below the Tennessee Valley in the early 19th century. King, a lifelong resident of northwest Alabama, lives in the historic Cockfight Mansion near Natural Bridge in Winston County, where residents have been mulling becoming their own country again for nearly 150 years.
King is a young, presently unemployed Georgetown-educated writer and failed political consultant. He is author of the forthcoming coming-of-age novel Mexican Breakfast and the Drunken Soul, which is currently in litigation because of alleged similarities to the John Ritter sitcom 8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenaged Daughter. He has also served as a visiting professor of political science at the University of Maryland (Go Terps!) and forest pharmacology at Cullman State Community College (Go Big Blue Laws!).
The Cockfight Family hopes this Weblog will allow the world to share the endless commentary by King that his kin have endured for several years, help spread the influence and messages advocated by the Cockfight clan, and hopefully provide the family a tax write-off for helping to spread literacy without any sort of charitable donation.
This Weblog has appeared in multiple iterations over the last several years. Unfortunately, all previous versions were lost in separate but equally tragic fires in the library at the historic Cockfight Mansion. Fortunately, I and the other amateur researchers of The Jebediah Cockfight Society for Alabama History and Remedy of the Idle Blind (now marking 135 years of preserving Cockfight Family lore while concurrently saying “Get up, Blindie!”) are doing our best to recover these lost pieces of meaningful commentary and assemble other arousing lessons about the history and greatness of the Cockfight tradition.
Thank you very much and enjoy reading.
Brewer T. Alberts III is president and curator of The Jebediah Cockfight Society for Alabama History and Remedy of the Idle Blind and author of several self-published books, including Sultry Granite: Twenty-Five Erotic Essays About Former Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore’s Ten Commandments Monument and ‘Fuck the Poor’: An Annotated Collection of Policy Speeches Made By Cockfight Family Members From 1857-2008. When not in rehab, he lives with his eight pitbulls named after racist Alabama governors in a trailer near Interstate 65 Exit 310 in Cullman.