On the radio.
Things people better than you worthless lessers have been reading.
-Scott Beason has been beaten to the television airwaves thus far in the race for Alabama’s Douche-Belt by both Spencer Bachus (twice) and Blount County Four-Wheeler Guy.
And he’s responded by… putting out a radio ad.
That ad doesn’t even mention the immigration law he co-sponsored and became the face of, which, despite all its infinite wrongness, is the thing upon which he logically should build his campaign, being that its a popular measure among members of his party and all. Well, that and Bachus’ insider trading, but he clearly doesn’t understand that as a concept.
But no, his first radio ad’s mostly anonymous soft anti-Obama gumbly mush. Which, barring him being the best in-person campaigner ever (he’s not), means he could reasonably put up a sub-13% finish in this race, despite all the bluster going into this bid.
Which, FYI, is why you don’t start a congressional campaign two months or so before election day, by the by. You can have all the potential in the world and build something that looks so nice on paper, but if you don’t have a plan to go with it, well, you’re done.
-I, for one, look forward to the passage of the Alabama “DON’T LOCK GRANNY IN THE MOTHERFUCKING SHED SO YOU CAN MAKE METH YOU ASSHOLE DRUG-DEALING SCUM” Act of 2012.
-Look, if you don’t like red-light cameras ticketing your worthless ass, then don’t run fucking red lights.
We don’t need to get rid of red-light camera ticketing until we have “uniform standards,” we already have them: It’s called “Don’t run the fucking red light, asshole.”
-Hey, where’s the tax incentives for Alabama’s burgeoning pornographic film industry based in Tuscumbia?
As much as Sheffield Stumpy works on her hands and nubs day-in and day-out, don’t you think she deserves a little kickback from the State government?
-Let us buy big alcohol containers for Christ’s sake.
We have to live here.
-Most shocking in this story about a Georgia judge inappropriately pulling a gun in court: That a prosecutor actually told the judge that he was wrong for inappropriately pulling a gun in court.
Counselor, them’s some balls.
-Lies at Weld: Rick Klantorum is not going to be happy about such an unflattering photo, but the chasm at the bottom of the Cahaba sounds like a fine addition of failure to Alabama Adventure. Also: Who hasn’t had a cactus forced by the State into their vaginas? Am I right, ladies?