Things that people who are better than you worthless lessers have been reading to start your morning.
-You can get as many influential people as you want behind dropping the mandatory school attendance age to 6 in Alabama, but you’re costing the State economy billions by allowing them to get that learnin’ in them. And that’s why we support Governor Dr. Dr. Robert Bentley Dr.’s plan to eliminate public education in Alabama. #ReturntoGreatness
-You might think that Alabama’s leaders won’t have to do quite as many perverted things if ThyssenKrupp merges its steel-making business with a Finnish company. If so, you greatly underestimate the depravity of the Finnish people. #VilliStyle #YogurtEverywhere
-This could be another crippling blow for America’s already reeling fetal sausage industry.
-Someone still gives a fuck about Glenn Beck, and they are very upset with their being lesbians and Democrats on Fox News now instead. They say lesbians, in particular, are bad role models—what with their rampant use of gay in its aerosol form.
-Just in case you forgot, we got dead slaves everywhere ’round here.