Things people better than you worthless lessers have been reading.
-Roy Moore’s back.
And when you read that fawning Daily Caller piece, you know how this is going to go.
Things ain’t Jesus like they used to be.
And we dare make this into some sort of libertarian battle even though it is the complete opposite of such.
Even though Republicans, Democrats, and everybody with a brain here are embarrassed to hell and back this morning.
-Meanwhile, meet Harry “Chocolate Genocide” Lyon, the Democratic challenger Moore will surely thump to hell this fall—perhaps literally.
Mr. Lyon, however, says that reports of him being a chocolate-pouring vandal who is into killing illegal immigrants are totally false:
The fantasy story about me is totally false and only the most gullible of readers will take it seriously. It is true I was shot in the neck by a neighbor who I found out was selling illegal drugs to minors in the neighborhood and when I confronted him about it, he shot me in the neck and tried to justify it by pouring syrup on his freind’s car and was indicted by a Shelby County Grand Jury for attempted murder. After being aquitted due to an incompetent state prosecutor, he was found dead in his front yard from an apparent drug overdose. Being in intensive care for approximately one month with both my vocal cords shot out and being unable to speak, others believed Mr. Black’s story and hence the satirical article written by “anonymous”.
After posting his phone number, he then adds this:
The statements I made about the illegal immigration issue were facetious but Alabama’s newspaper writers aren’t the brightest lightbulbs in the factory, especially those who write for the Montgomery Advertiser.
Sure, obviously, you want to joke about killing people and committing genocide when you run for office. Stupid media for not getting the joke!
And I’m sure that whole “They gonna blow up the Galleria” thing was just a joke too and not at all inappropriate to say on television when running for governor.
Oh, and he is guaranteeing his election.
Mr. Moore has no chance of winning the November 6th General Election as I received over a million votes in a failed bid for a seat on the Alabama Supreme Court while Moore received 266,000 votes last night.
Clearly, both of those conditions will be duplicated on November 6.