Things people better than you have been reading.
-It was a great week without you lesser losers, last week. While you were busy listening to that whore dolphin Cal Alabaster Jr.’s ramblings about who is important in Alabama, the bingo trials ended without one damn conviction and the Republican presidential candidates started courting power brokers such as ourselves to secure them a victory in tomorrow’s primaries.
So, from the bottom of my sphincter, fuck you all. We’re in charge, and don’t you forget it.
-Speaking of the bingo trial, the prosecution’s ultimate failing was walking up to the blurry line between transactional politics and straight-up bribery and just hanging out there. One can only hope that the Supreme Court will take up Don Siegelman’s appeal and determine what is and is not a bribe, so that America can finally understand in some tiny way what it means to have Alabama’s political shame define them all.
-An aging Alabama population needs an immigrant slave-class to keep them afloat? Sounds like it’s time to return to greatness.
-This hasn’t been an easy Douche-Belt re-election campaign for Spencer Bachus. He’s actually had to campaign and everything. Meanwhile, Scott Beason can count to ten and has played the board game Monopoly.