What is this blog?
King Cockfight. is a satirical, metafictional politics blog. Unless linked, usually most stories about real places, people, and occasionally farm animals and manatees on this blog are fictionalized.
Nothing on this blog should be considered a poor reflection on the people and places of Winston County, Alabama—one of America’s truly beautiful places.
Commenting and linking guidelines
All comments are reviewed for abuse, content, and libel. Moderators retain the right to delete any comments that are abusive, libelous, or pointlessly trolling.
If you link here, we will link back—though with a certain and obvious degree of discretion. No white power blogs, no blogs about the size and shape of your poop, or anything else so utterly awful we wouldn’t feel comfortable pointing all twelve of our regular readers to your site.
Questions, comments, and complaints can be sent to king.cockfight@gmail.com.
What is a ‘satirical, metafictional politics and news blog’?
We’ve gotten an awful lot of good response to this blog:
“Brilliant!”
“Funny as hell.”
“Fucked up.”
But a common thread has also been, “I don’t quite know what to make of you.”
Maybe that’s a question about our politics, but we are pretty darn sure it is because the arrangement of this blog confuses the heck out of some of our readers.
Read it this way: This blog is a dispatch from a world where everything happens the same, just one of America’s most legendary and delightfully corrupt political families is rooted in hopelessly abandoned Winston County, Alabama.
They have decided to use the Internet to share their agenda and point of view, including their thoughts on eating people and losing a spelling bee to a Somali psychopath.
We live in a blessed time.
Why would you write a blog like that?
This blog just is how it is. Even if we’re sure it must be completely outlandish to consider an Alabama where the smartest folks from rural areas just don’t apply themselves, and rich, elitist assholes and batshit wingnuts are in positions of political and financial power.
Completely outlandish.
What is your political affiliation?
We look for the two things Alabama and the South desperately needs in its elected leadership: Brains and substance.
We don’t care if you worship Jesus. We don’t care who you are having sex with or how as long as it is legal. We don’t care if you’re a conservative or a liberal who has never played patty-cake with someone on the other end of the playground.
We just want a better South because the people here have suffered long enough that they deserve it.
Why do you cuss so much?
Fucking donkey-balls, that’s why.
In all seriousness: We consider this blog as an evolving, deranged metafictional Southern gothic novel as commentary on Alabama and Southern politics—Flannery O’Connor meets Drive-By Truckers meets the original Wonkette, if you will. It would be dishonest to the voices of our characters, their opinions, and their situations if they all talked exclusively in PG or PG-13 speech. We do pull back on when it comes to what a few characters would likely say if they were real people to avoid making our skin crawl, but primarily because we don’t think you need the full brunt to get the commentary through.
And because we were born and raised in Alabama and strive to get all the little details right, it would also be intellectually dishonest to the wonderful dialects of this State if we were to omit the profanities.
Besides, we are not of the mind that the major problems and extreme deficiencies of Alabama or the regularly misplaced priorities of its leadership are deserving of kind words.
How often do you update and what does the future look like, as of January 2012?
We used to blog three posts a day. Unfortunately, this blog does not pay the bills—our increasingly time- and orifice-consuming careers in Prussian pool-dungeon pornography does. Plus, making up shit can be really hard, and quite frankly, we try not to burn ourselves out—if you look through the archives for 2011 (which saw a shamefully small number of posts), you will notice we had to take a break after the 2010 election to get back up to speed.
Our gig over at Weld helps keep us motivated and posting more these days, though. So you can generally expect a post or two a day here on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays and probably just a post a day there on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. You can also read our biweekly column in the print edition of Weld on Thursdays and every other Wednesday on Weld‘s website.
We also plan on eventually building a few more evergreen features to this site, much like we did earlier on, such as fresh updates to the Atlas and a new, more presidential campaign website for Uncle Carter—if only because we feel like the independent Alabama and Southern blogosphere needs something dependable, static, and flavorful in light of it being culled down quite a bit over the past year or two. Ideas and suggestions are always welcome at king.cockfight@gmail.com.
Enjoy yourselves, God-less lessers!
Hey I love this. But tell me one thing…are you really Patterson Hood of The Drive-By Truckers? I mean, are you? Sounds like you could be him. That is a compliment; Patterson Hood is a genius, no question about it. Thanks for this funny thing you are doing. It is a truly funny thing.
He is a genius.
I got some big Roosters and want to know where the next event is?
I also want to know if ya’ll have a big stew the next day with the dead uns?
Else, I got some hogs that would like em alot.
coq a vin for 300?
I saw you linked on Wonkette (making mock of poor Tim James). Congratulations, you are famous! Keep up the good work!
Why didn’t I think of doing this blog first? I mean, as a political junkie, a deep south progressive, a sophisticated hillbilly of sorts(hailing from nearby Walker county), a social critic/commentator, a sometimes curmudgeon, a freethinker, a man of the world, a frequent slasher derby attendee, blah, blah, blah, I should have thunk of it first! Oh well……………
If you had done it, it would have just burned down and been hit by a tornado the next month.
It’s just how things happen on The CH…
Sad but probably true……………………..
genius stuff, keep it up.