Things people better than you worthless lessers have been reading.
-Happy Valentine’s Day, lessers! You’re all going to die alone and unhappy and go to Debtors’ Heaven, or, perhaps if you’re lucky and saved enough during your lifetime, Hell!
-As much as we hate that lying son of a bitch “Cal Alabaster, Jr.” and hope that a cat uses his dead wives’ ashes as litter, these politically themed valentines are quite heartwarming. Trust me: Nothing says “I love you” like Richard Shelby telling you your lover has earmarked their heart for you and the improvement of Tuscaloosa’s parking infrastructure. And as the fiancee and I can attest, there’s very little better than some manufactured holiday lovin’ with a federal kick-in… #SeventyThirtySplit
-Look, handing off the direction of Alabama’s two-year college system is not going to do worse to it than what the Board of Education has done to it now, which is essentially relegate most of the community colleges to being low-rent, come-and-go thirteenth and fourteenth grades. And shoot, if the State is going to grab its ankles to toss out all the incentives it can to get manufacturing companies to locate here, then having the people who are going to eventually hire workers for jobs in Alabama shape the training of people who could take those gigs is actually a pretty darn good idea.
That being said, the Cockfight Family would prefer such arrangement to have much more of an indentured servitude angle to it. You get your associate’s degree in something related to manufacturing, you spend twenty years paying us back by working at borderline nonexistent wages without any benefits.
It’s only fair…
-Rationale of a failed bill: “HOW DARE GOVERNMENT KEEP ME FROM BEING FORCED TO PAY FOR RECYCLING AND TRASH PICKUP AND THEREFORE MAKE SURE I ACTUALLY DO IT INSTEAD OF BURNIN’ MY SHIT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET! THERE ARE PRIVATE COMPANIES OUT THERE! PRIVATE! HOW DARE GOVERNMENT THINK THAT JUST BECAUSE IT CAN DO SOMETHING COST EFFECTIVELY AND EFFICIENTLY THAN THE PRIVATE SECTOR IT CAN! PRIVATE!