This has been more costly and pointless than Biloxi's Bathe-in-RC Valentine's Day Jubilee.
Things that people who are better than you worthless lessers have been reading.
-I’m sure you’ve read it several times over by now, but Newt’s Spaaaaaace Cooooast public masturbation fit yesterday afternoon is such a moment of unchecked ego and bombast that you really have to continue to behold it.
-Your sweatshirt is just too gay for Brookwood High School.
-When you you read the Huffington Post headline in a couple years about an absurd sentence being handed out for someone stealing a bunch of manhole covers or copper things from a graveyard—strange but true thing, some people don’t know taking things off graves is stealing because, um, lack of zombie comeuppance, I guess—look back at this story. The copper theft bill is otherwise fairly reasonable when you look at its practical legal effect (making the value of what is stolen measurable off the repair cost, which often dwarfs the value of the wire stolen by wire thieves), but making stealing manhole covers and copper grave decorations a felony? Shit, are we planning on farming all the people in our overpacked prisons for blood at some point? Somebody’s got to pay for this somehow.
-Huzzah to government and private companies actually getting something done in Hackleburg here in my neck of the woods, I just wish I didn’t have to permanently associate the product with Brett Favre’s penis.
-It may be a few more months yet before we figure out exactly how Alabama’s legislators will strip away black voters’ voices for the next decade.
-Warning, kids: Based on the subject matter, the final will be bullshit. But hey, whatever keeps you from burning churches.
-My God, Steve Harvey has aged poorly. Though be forewarned, this has-been-comedians-as-principals thing will only lead to Larry the Cable Guy as the Superintendent of Lauderdale County Schools. (This has already happened, most likely.) (#BacktoBackDayLauderdaleCountyJokeAchievementUnlocked.)
-But, but AirTran and the Huntsville Airport were a match made in Suck Heaven! You know, the place right next to Mediocrity Purgatory! You know! Down by the old outlet malls in Boaz!
